Testimony: - We are a new creation in Christ! 2Cor. 5:17

I guess if any single verse were to give an accurate description of my life’s testimony, this would be it. While the old man still haunts me and comes back to try to bring me down, the New Creation I am in Christ Jesus is my true identity. It is this Life, His Life that is True. Anything else is simply flesh, and flesh is a trap.

Allow me to explain. Ever since I was little, I’ve had one goal, one dream, one thing I’ve wanted to be…a rock star. I’ve always wanted to be on stage before hundreds and thousands of people. I sacrificed a college education to chase my dream. I sacrificed relationships for it, sacrificed my faith for it, and even sacrificed my health for it. Suffice to say, I would have given anything to achieve my dream. But it was my dream, my goal, my desire, and God had nothing to do with it. It was ALL me, All flesh.

I was raised Catholic, so I had heard about God all my life. I was head altar boy, read scripture during mass as commentator, basically in training to be a priest, I guess. However, the message I was hearing and the example I was seeing didn’t jive. On the one hand I was hearing about love and forgiveness, and on the other I was seeing crime and punishment. If someone committed a certain sin they were ostracized, and sometimes even run out of the church. I didn’t see the love or the forgiveness. I began to view God in the Old Covenant aspect, as a vengeful and punishing Ruler.

This view chased me away from God and toward my own desires. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not blaming the Catholic denomination for my own perceptions. What I interpreted was my own fault, no one else’s. Nonetheless, this perception led to years of selfishness, lust, greed and drunkenness, among other sins. For over 15 years I saw God as a spiteful dictator and I wanted nothing to do with Him. Thankfully, He had other plans. Plans which included me.

In 1997, the wheels came off of my self-centered life. I had married and become a father (in name only, because I certainly wasn’t good at either). My drinking and drug use having steadily increased over the years, allowed free reign to the lusts in my heart to take over and rule my life. My wife filed for divorce, moved out, and ended all communication with me. I was mired in criminal troubles and was facing jail. I was at the end of myself. Ready for it to be over, all over. Then, God stepped back into my life.

Following a tragedy that claimed the life of my father-in-law, communication between my wife and I was restored. I admitted my faults and just days before our divorce was finalized, we reconciled. We walked into our divorce hearing hand-in-hand, shocking our attorneys as well as the judge. My wife encouraged me to seek the help of a Christian counselor, and although my heart was hardened toward God, I agreed.

What I heard in that session changed my life. I was told of God’s love and forgiveness, things I had closed my eyes to for years. I was given a new view of God’s character as a Father, not as a ruler. I wanted this God in my life, I NEEDED this God in my life, and I whole-heartedly accepted this God into my life. Things changed. My family was restored, my legal troubles, while still having to face them, were reduced. And God began to show me a ministry, a purpose for His Glory.

When I first heard Christian rock music, I was excited. I didn’t know such a thing existed. Soon after, God began putting lyrics from my own healing into my mind and onto my heart. Songs were a finished CD in my head. Most of Messenger’s music was written down in 5 minutes. I began playing solo in church (I had been baptized in the Baptist church), and soon met Tyler Bradford through playing together in the praise team. We began jamming together after practice and began forming a quick friendship.

Sometime later, Steve Benson, Bass player from the old rock-n-roll, party days, came back into my life. I told him how God had been working in my life and about jamming with Tyler. I invited him to join us. He accepted and the rest is history. Interestingly (and miraculously) I had run into Steve a couple years before, shortly after accepting the Message of Jesus, And told him of my Christian writing. He commented that maybe we could get together sometime to jam. We heard a child scream with excitement and walked around the corner of the building to see a huge, bright rainbow. I didn’t tell Steve at the time, but I had begun to see rainbows as a sign of a promise from God. I interpreted this one as a promise that we would, indeed, one day be playing together. It took God several years to bring Steve to the point where God could use him, but God was faithful, as always.

Now, I find it amazing that God would use this avenue to reach people through me. How long I have chased this dream, my dream. I still desire it, but no longer above all else. How far He will take it, I don’t know. If He chooses to end it today, then I can be satisfied in the knowledge that His purpose must have been accomplished, or He wouldn’t have ended it. God sees all things through to completion for His purpose. If He allows me to achieve my dream, It will have been ALL Him. Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

Today, our music is His music. Although He lives in and through me, I still stumble and fall. Thank God that He has forgiven me, once-for-all. I alone am not worthy to be His Messenger. Just a quick glance at my past failures (not to mention, present struggles) would give the modern-day Pharisees cause to point their fingers and declare me unworthy. Thankfully, God uses all things for His Glory……. Even a wretch like me. Thanks for allowing God to speak to you through me. May He bless you and those whose lives you touch with His love and forgiveness, just as He has in my life.

Favorite verse(s)? 2Cor. 5:17 - I am a new creation!

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Steve's Bio Page - Tyler's Bio Page

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